Strawberry Picking: Child Labor is Overrated

The strawberries are finally ripe here in Central Wisconsin and I finally decided I was going to get my ass out to a strawberry farm and pick me some berries. There is something almost religious about the treks to these self-pick places. I have no idea if they are a great price savings from the farmers' market. I paid $32 for four gallons, which is about $8 a gallon, or $4 a half gallon, which is $2 a quart--so the price is at least comparable to super market prices.

But the berries. Oh, my lord, the berries. They are bright red, ripe, sweet, and delicious. I told my kids (8 and 10) that we were going berry picking and they sort of agreed but looked at me like I was a little crazy when I suggested we leave at 8 a.m. on a Thursday morning. They had a friend spending the night but I figured an extra pair of hands wouldn't hurt so I brought him along.

We left the house closer to 11 a.m.

The weather was beautiful. Not too hot or too sunny but warm and partly cloudy. We drove 20 minutes to a small patch set in idyllic farm country. The patch was well staffed, clean, mowed with well-tended fields and portable toilets with hand washing stations. A pleasant, barefoot guy in a wide-brimmed straw hat drove us up the hill in a golf cart and handed us our buckets.

I asked for four, because there were four of us. But honestly, I was trying to calculate how long I could keep my kids outside, working on their hands and knees before the first complaint was aired (10 minutes) and how many buckets we could fill up before they went all Cesar Chavez on me so I settled on four one gallon buckets.

The farmer pointed out a red flag and our row and told us to split up and work towards each other. He later explained to me this was so I could go back over the kids' picking in case they missed any berries. This turned out to be a good idea.

My son filled a bucket half-way. His friend, a sturdier little fellow managed to mostly fill his before my son's face started getting red (despite my attempt at slathering him with sunscreen before we left). My daughter, bless her, was a born field hand--maybe the act of berry picking appealed to our shared OCD tendencies. She and I filled my bucket and hers and then topped off the boys' buckets in about 40 minutes total.

I really thought I'd get more work out of them. Small hands, young backs and knees and they failed me, utterly. They were hot, itchy with mosquito bites and probably hungry for lunch. Granted we're not outdoorsy folks, my son especially. But they're old enough to tell a ripe berry from unripe and to avoid the mushy ones. They're just lacking in stamina.

I could have probably picked some more before we left but since I don't can, and I need to figure out what to do with these besides eating them right out of the flats and making strawberry shortcake. The clock is ticking on the gallons of berries in my fridge. Don't they look beautiful?

In Which I Almost Starred in a Political Ad for Wisconsin's Gubernatorial Campaign

I am a political junkie. Like Nate Silver Fan Girl political junkie and I pull no punches about my lefty-liberal leanings, either.

I am no fan of Wisconsin's current Gubernatorial Douchebag, Scott Walker. I have thrown my support behind Mary Burke, for a number of philosophical reasons. Mostly because of Walker's War on Education, his attacks on public unions (especially educators) and the massive cuts he has made to state education. I believe his cuts have adversely affected my kids' school, the district, and the state of Wisconsin.

My friends are mostly liberal lefties as well--so it really wasn't a surprise to me to get a text from a friend asking if I would talk to someone from the Burke campaign about education. I always ready to share my opinions so I had a chat with someone on the phone and agreed to let some guys from the campaign come and scout me, my kids, and our home for a possible commercial.

Two nice, geeky looking guys showed up--they seemed like characters from The West Wing--causally dressed but polite, erudite and sympathetic. We talked around our kitchen table for an hour, while the kids drew pictures and piped up with their precocious opinions on politics. (I have NO idea where they get it.)

Then they walked around the house and took some cell phone photos, thanked us for our time, and our story, and said they would be in touch. I even got a request for a photo selfie--for a potential make-up artist in case they decided to use me, I'd definitely need the help of a professional.

As it turned out, the younger of the two, Gabe, sent me a text and left me a voicemail the next day saying they wouldn't be down to Stevens Point and therefore, couldn't use us.

I'm pretty sure they can find someone more telegenic and more eloquent to express my feelings towards this state administration's stance on public education. At least I hope they do. Burke should be attacking Walker on this. His cuts were brutal and they were made worse by a cap he put on property taxes so that individual districts couldn't make up for budget shortfalls by raising local property taxes.

I have a straightforward philosophy on pubic education: It is the first level playing field our kids encounter and it is the most important one. Education is the magic bullet for EVERY social ill; crime, poverty, abuse all go down as education increases. Why would you not want that fully funded? Why would you disrespect the system that educates our youth and the people that do it?

I honestly believe that there is a war on intellectualism in this county. And that somehow, people see educated individuals as elitist snobs, or rich idiots. But education is the bootstraps that conservatives have such a hard on for. If you want someone to pull themselves out of poverty, THEY HAVE TO GET A GOOD EDUCATION. By denying everyone a FREE, quality education, they are undercutting their own moral code that people can help themselves out of poverty.

Edited because this article came out after I published.

Wisconsin Second Only to Alabama in Cuts to Education Funding.

Save Me from Thoughtful Children

While I was getting my hair colored, my daughter thoughtfully reorganized my iPhone apps.

Now I can't find shit.

http://giphy.com/gifs/11HuVIMHWQ0cJG